i was working on the set of the warped tour yesterday.  i did not do a good job of sussing out the gig.  one thing is to do the work of figuring out if a rock concert job is if you actually like the music.  which i did not do.  luckily i brought earplugs.

the warped tour is a huge endevour, about twenty bands.  all young and upcoming.  i am sure that it was a good bunch because i did like some of the bands but most of the time i was overstimmed with the crowds and the muddle of soundstages in the giantness of the thunderbird stadium at ubc.  it was full of twentysomething who had hit it big by making great music that kids with young eardrums appreciated.  lovely to see their passion and fun backstage.

it was a rush.  the crew definitely had a huge responsibility to keep everything handled and i was impressed by the logistics of the whole thing.  i was ill prepared for the day and it showed by my fustration  at the end of my day.  in fact, i could not stay for the evening when i should have, because i am sure that crew would have needed me then. 

this morning i had a conversation with heidi of the www.fabulousfatiquefighters.com, who hired me to do the gig.  she was so kind and so generous with her words and i became aware that i gave up because i did not make myself useful.  i felt that since i was not getting work that i should pack in for the day.  i forgot that there was a rock concert being produced and that i was there to help the guys who put on the show.  how selfish of me.  really. 

like i said, i was ill prepared.  if i had had a book or a computer, i could have amused myself.  since i did not bring enough gear, i was not useful to myself and felt useless.  that was the fustration.  i realized that that is how i am in real life too.  if i am not doing something that is useful, i am not happy.  to be happy, i have to be useful and the stuff i do has to have use.  eureka! 

today, i was at my www.wanderingyogi.com rahasri’s shadow yoga class at 7am.  she is here from her travels to teach and i am fortunate to learn from her.  what she teaches is subtle…not obvious.  to do the work is tedious and intricate.  yet it teached the foundation of using energy/flow of the body to move rather than overuse the muscles to make the motion.  to losen the joints and connections so that vayu can get to the limbs.  the shadow yoga is leg based and it is the foundation to all movement.

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rahasri mentioned this morning that most of the moves are too tedius and pointless to the present day yogis due to the nature of the styles being taught.  yet in her experience it is the grunt work of all hatha yoga styles.

so that was the final piece of the lesson that was the last 24 hours.  that nothing is pleasant or easy, that everything takes a beginning  to an end and that preparation is crucial to any success at anything. 

maybe next time i can be more gentle with myself and not expect the gross outcome.  to make the journey more pleasant, i must do the little movements.  to practice patience and be aware of what i need to make any job more pleasant, i have to spend the time doing the grunt work.  maybe next time i should bring a good book, ‘chi nei tsang’ by mantak and maneewan chia would have been enthralling enough in the summer sun in a lawn chair.  next time!