the most important thing a teacher said was that we had to identify all the part of the body.  label each piece of you so that you can see it in your mind.  howard jones, osteopath,  said that.  also caroline myss in her books.  that has always stuck in my mind as a clue to my studies.  it is overwhelming all the pieces one has to know to navigate the roads of life.  there is always that memory in me that remembers saying that after high school, that will be the end of studying.  bull shit.  it never stops.  always, and if you do think that you know everything, something comes and whacks you off of the grand canyon.  which is a whole lot of beans again.

of course, i would not have to study just what everyone else studies.  no.  i have to witness network chiropractor-ee.   indian shamans in the nevada desert.  okay, flagstaff.  whatever.  it was a strange time of my life.  where i floated from my illusionary world to reality.  dang it the leg is not working so well.  the shoulder looks like ground meat.  what to do?

well that was interesting where did that come from?  memories.  we all have them.  so many.

today i realized that i was a data provider.  i am experienced in only what i know.  no more. no less.  i cant pertain to know everything.  for god sake’s i am using a computer that cost me $30 k and climbing to gather data on the human condition.  did you know that we change like the weather, in every moment.  to track that is a real job in itself.  i am on my machine every three days.  not as much as in the beginning.  i am respecting that the 72 hours of embedding has been sanctioned by the biofeedback trainers.

hurting yourself in such a big feat, has its responsibilities, if one wants to live at the optimum that she can.  i am grateful to all my teachers and inspiration for their light.  really it is light that i seek.  if a person is radiant, that is the person i want to know.  it is important to recognize life and light.  i want to be a slow burning fire.  i need not be everything to everybody.  i have set up a system where i can learn, to write and to practice my craft of self caring.

my x husband said something once…while on the cliff, after three waves of people came to check how i was.   he said, leave her to decide how to respond to this.  only she can get herself out of this.  i was so angry at him, like a child.  yet as time has past, over 18 years ago, i have become responsible for me.  as best as i can, i do what i can to mend and become stronger than that day and any day before that.

yes, the steps have been small but the trek has been a Himalaya for me.

the best way to describe it is to practice all that you learn on the mat and make it your life.  that is all i can do.  as life has sped by, having the skills to do yoga, walk, run, skip, roll on the floor, squat.  are all important to implement into my daily routine.  i remember being a hairdresser for 15 years and at the end of it, realizing that breathing in the hair dyes and the sprays as well as the bits of hair, were not going to be good for me.  as well standing on my feet for 8-10 hours.   i could have done it but i just knew that it was not going to be enough time to live.  training in massage taught me to draw the work on the body.  the repetition kept me knowing the meridian lines, the energy lines.  it showed me the connections of the muscles and joints.

i had to tell a dentist to rotate her shoulders three times a day, in between her patients.  no wander she had reticular formation come up in her reading.  that is the area of  the sternomastoidclavical muscle.  we all should sneak a few shoulder roll in a day.  to get the blood to the brain.  remember the memory circuits need that champagne riding on the blood.

tonight, i also had the best bath ever.  why?  it was a hot salty bath with the amega wand at the bottom of it.  dr. emoto of the ‘message in water’ fame, has fanned the interest in the properties of water.  how each molecule of water crystal forms from the information that influences it.  alkaline water is water that is energized by minerals.  sea salt is minerals.  so i had two cups of sea salt in a hot tub zero point energized bath.  wow.  i am so happy that i was taught to take salt baths.  so grateful.  thank you karen cruikshank of my zen shiatsu training.  i wish i was as smart as i am now, then.  learning is wasted on the unconscious.

night all.

meditate in the morning… k

new hat pic

wand the world